Monthly Archives: July 2011
Do you know that you have a totally different way of seeing things than the person next to you? Two people can look at the same picture and see two totally different things. For example, one person will see only what’s missing, while another notices what’s there. What you see when you look through your eyes is rarely the truth, but rather your own personal interpretation of the facts using a sophisticated set of filters, beliefs and values.
We run into trouble when we expect everyone else to see things the way we see them, it simply isn’t going to happen. Wars have been started because of this misunderstanding, marriages have ended because of this misunderstanding. We argue and we fight as we try to get the other person to see things the way we do, and they do the same, and it is all such a waste of time. If you want to succeed in dealing with other people, you need to let go of your demands to have everyone see things your way, and learn to enter into their worlds. When you can see things from other people’s points of view, it is far easier to lead them to more productive models of the world, without the need for conflict.
Communication, learning to ask the right questions, talking in terms of what the other person wants, instead of what you want. People resist going in this direction as they think it means giving up what they want. This is far from the truth, learning to let go of what you want, and to enter the other person’s world is the quickest route to what you want. People will rush to help someone who they can see has their wants at heart.
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