Monthly Archives: October 2011

Dealing with People 101

Hi there Transformation Junkies,

Nothing else matters in life if your ability to deal successfully with people sucks.

Isn’t it amazing that you can spend so many years in school as a child and never get formally taught about the two most important things to help you succeed in life: Dealing with people, and dealing with money?

It’s equally amazing that most middle aged, middle class people still don’t know what they need to know about successfully dealing with people. Ironically it is usually ignorance in the area of dealing with people that holds people back from the success they so desperately want. Let’s face it, life is all about dealing with other people, unless you are Tom Hanks alone on an island with a basketball called Wilson. How do you expect to move forward in life if you cannot successfully navigate the waters of relationship?

People show us who we are. They play the roles we need them to play in our lives. If someone irritates you, angers you, or behaves in a way that you disagree with, then take a deep breath and ask “What is this person showing me about myself?”

You see, you filter all the information that comes into your mind, so you only experience the world according to your own filters. Your filters are you, they are a mix of beliefs and values that you have collected and formed over the years. In other words, you can only find outside of yourself what is already inside.

The people in your life are external representations of who you are on the inside. Ouch.

One of my bugbears is people not doing what they say they will do, it drives me nuts, but guess what I experience in the people around me? Right. My job is not to fix them, they are merely the version of them I am experiencing through my filters. Perhaps I need to pay attention to doing what I say I will do, and then I will no longer experience them in this way. It can be sobering to think that people are mirrors of yourself, but what an opportunity for change.

Keep the Shiny Side up!


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