The Best of You
Does your partner still get the best of you, or does he/she just get your frustrations and bad days, your fears and your temper? Are you giving your relationship your “supreme effort” or the dregs of what is left?
“Familiarity breeds contempt”, so the old saying goes. Perhaps we don’t grow to despise the person we are with, but over time we just take them for granted and stop making the effort. If that person isn’t going anywhere, then why should you work at it? “Life is full of stress and demands,” (we say to ourselves) “And I give my best to everyone else, when I get home I just want to dump my clothes on the floor, put on my slippers and stop caring!” You start to notice the effect of this thinking when you start snapping at each other for no real reason and when disagreements just turn into arguments that have no real point to them.
This is what happens, mediocrity in, mediocrity out. You are getting back what you are putting in. What you no longer feel you need to work for – you no longer work to keep! It isn’t like you woke up one morning and decided to stop working at it, it happened over time. Just like when you got that new car and you were pedantic about keeping it clean and safe, and then one day all that didn’t really matter that much anymore. It is human nature, but the fact is that if you want your relationship to continue being successful after 5 or 6 years, then you will need to work against that nature.
You have forgotten (as has your partner probably) how incredibly lucky you are to have found each other; you have stopped seeing the value of the other person (you once thought of them as a prize to be won); you have stopped being intentional about your relationship and you think it can survive on auto-pilot. So, if you are wondering why things are just not as good as they once were, ask yourself if your partner is still getting the best of you.