Present and Accounted For
It amazes me how many people tie the knot then fail to show up for the marriage. It’s like marriage was something on their to-do list and now that they have ticked it off they can get on with their lives. Thus begins the pattern of “taking for granted”. To save a marriage you have to start when it begins.
I remember watching a reality TV show where the characters started off with the promotion and then had to work to keep it, I think it should be that way in a marriage – start off with the perfect marriage and then work to keep it that way. Avoid the trap of getting so used to the other person that you simply stop being present in the marriage, friends and sport (and things like that) should come a distant second in any marriage. The thing is that you don’t notice the slip when it starts happening, you usually only wake up when the distance is great between your partner and you. For a happy marriage you will pay: You will pay with attention, or you will pay with pain. My advice? Start paying attention now.
Notice those little things that are becoming more important that building the marriage, being right is one of them. You can either be right, or you can be happy, you can rarely be both at the same time. It’s easy at the start, when the relationship is new, but just like anything else, you get bored with it when you get used to it. Like a beautiful garden, a relationship needs constant attention in little ways. Letting it go to weed only leads to a battle you can’t win, instead of keeping a garden beautiful you will be trying to keep it free of weeds. You will go from tending to fighting. Pay attention now, or pay with pain.
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Posted on February 27, 2013, in Life Coaching, Peace, Personal Power, Relationships, Uncategorized and tagged Advice, Codependency, divorce, happiness, healthy-living, heartbreak, inspiration, Interpersonal relationship, Intimate relationship, life coaching, Marriage, Self-Help, stupid decision, Thought, Unconscious mind. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.