Relationship Assassins – Mr and Mrs Right
You have two choices in a relationship, you can either be right, or be happy. Very rarely can you be both. Here are the next relationship assassins – Mr and Mr’s Right. The need to be right has laid waste to many promising relationships, as it is a narcotic for the ego. So addictive is this drug that people will completely destroy a relationship in order to get it. So eager are we to be right that we will pursue this aim with little thought to the consequences.
Dr James Dobson, the well known therapist, stated that in a relationship you should always defend the relationship before your need to be right. To lay down arms and let go of that need can feel like death though. Sometime we think that being right is all we have, which of course is not the truth. There is only one result that stems from an insistence on being right and that is resentment. It doesn’t get us the respect we think we deserve for our cleverness.
What we fail to realise is that our knowing is just based on the information we have, and from that place we claim we are right. The other person, based on the information they have is also right. For this reason we cannot ever tell anyone they are wrong, but rather allow them the space to learn and grow. You cannot change an opinion with force or reason, but with information. Can you really be 100% sure that you are in the right though? Think about it.
Let’s face it, when it comes to a relationship who cares who is right? As long as the relationship is growing in a healthy way then it really doesn’t matter. Often, the need to be right is symptomatic of much deeper problems in the relationship. Insisting on being right will be the death-blow and you will notice that the more you insist on being right, the more your partner will avoid you. While you are busy being right, they are feeling unheard and disrespected. So when it comes to relational happiness, put the relationship before your need to be right.
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Posted on September 18, 2012, in Life Coaching, Peace, Personal Power, Relationships and tagged Advice, health, Interpersonal relationship, James Dobson, Marriage, mental-health, relationship, Self-Help. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.