The Trouble with Goals
We love truisms; there is a certain security in something that is true. I once read that the most successful people are in the top three percent of the world’s population, and that the top three percent of said population are goal setters. Therefore, to be in the top three percent and therefore successful you must set goals. Truism. Does that mean that all goal setters are successful? No.
Look, there are ample arguments that you need to set goals, after all you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, but some people miss 100% of the shots they do take. It is also said that if you don’t know where you are going then you won’t get there, but what if you don’t really like it when you do? This is the trouble with goals. The reason why I think I want what I want is that I think it will get or do something for me. I want the new car because of how I think I will feel when I have it; the thing is that I have no evidence whatsoever to substantiate that belief. I say I want to be rich, but do I even know what it will be like for me? No.
Goals are often the good being the enemy of the best. I think I know what is best for me, but I really have no idea. One thing is certain, happy people tend to generate more happiness; miserable people tend to perpetuate their misery. Robert Kiyosaki, the author of “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” stated that money does nothing more that magnify who we are, if we are happy then we will be happier, if we are miserable then we will be more miserable. Usually the motivation for setting a goal is that I am feeling one way now and I am aiming for something to make me feel better. In other words it is usually an undesirable life circumstance that inspires us to change our fortune. On the surface there is nothing wrong with it, but what’s to say that we know what will make us happy, especially when we only think it will? If we achieve the goal it will only amplify who we are.
Then there is the issue of the observer effect, the quantum theory that states that expectations affect outcome. Let’s be real, the future does not exist in any other form than possibility, and if something is possible then anything is. So I choose between possibilities with my expectations. I get the future that I expect. Don’t be fooled though, the simple truth is that you are not consciously aware of most of your expectations. Your expectations are formed in the simple way of unconscious association, in other words, what you have experienced you will expect. Even if you consciously decide one thing, you can unconsciously expect another. Ever had the weekend you just knew would be great but then it sucked? Unconscious expectations. So you could set the best goal in the world, but sabotage it with expectations you don’t even know are there. If I set a goal because I feel bad, the chances are that I will produce according to how I am feeling as how I feel determines what I expect.
So here’s what I think, instead of looking at some point in the future I will focus on how I want to feel now and let the universe support that in the best way for me. There is one piece of nifty sabotage that I have picked up in people; they think that if they are happy now it will mean that they are saying they want life to stay as it is. Let’s face it, if I ask if you like your coffee and you say you do (when you don’t) then I will have no reason to change it for you. Well the universe doesn’t work that way. Have you ever seen a happy garden? It doesn’t stay the way it is, it grows and grows and grows. A happy life has no choice but to grow and get better. Set goals if you must, but only as a direction to head in. Be open to change, be open to something even better coming along, and most of all be happy now.
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Posted on August 21, 2012, in Life Coaching, Uncategorized and tagged Goal, happiness, health, mental-health, Robert Kiyosaki, Self-Help, Truism, Unconscious mind. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.