Relationship Assassins – The Passive Aggressive

We live in an age of passive aggression, and it is not limited to one sex or the other. This “trait” is something that will strangle the life out of any relationship. I have seen this killer rear its ugly head time and time again, and more often than not, you don’t even know it has struck.

The two main weapons of Passive Aggressive are making you feel like you have the problem (and you don’t have a clue what it is) and making you feel like you have been attacked yet you have no idea how. This is the assassin that kills with a smile, it give you your own way, agrees with everything you say, lets you make the choices; but really wanting its own way, closes in for the kill. Even when it kills the relationship you aren’t even sure what has happened or that it is really dead, and you leave blaming yourself since the other person was “such an angel”.

The Passive Aggressive does not know how to speak out for itself, it always sees problems in hindsight and claims ignorance, and is the master of emotional manipulation. It hides its weapons under cloak of “good will”, so that once it strikes it can disappear again, after all, it did what YOU wanted and always gave you YOUR way. It is easy to spot though, but hard to identify as it hides so well.

Signs that it might be poised to strike (or has already) are feelings of something out of place (not knowing what though) knowing there’s a problem and being convinced it must be all you, your partner may be present but seems absent. If any of these symptoms are present then you may need to take a closer look, and hopefully it isn’t too late.

Arm yourself with clear communication and some healthy boundaries; seek a coach if you don’t know how to do this.  Passive Aggressive is striking with increasing frequency, so keep your eyes open. Reward offered: fulfilling relationships. Call an expert now!


About On Track Coaching

I am a transformation junkie (a Master Life Coach and Naturopathic Nutritionist) who believes in the unlimited potential of the individual. Get On Track to the life of your dreams!

Posted on June 20, 2012, in Life Coaching, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. This article really resonated with me and I recognized the behavior in my relationship which ended a couple of years ago. I wish I could say that it was the behavior of my ex, but I have to admit (albeit ashamedly) that it was in my own patterns of behavior. I think a lack of assertiveness and a feeling of complete powerlessness on my part played a role in creating the patterns. I’m in no way making excuses and can see very clearly how damaging it is. It is very enlightening though to see this and to realize that I have the power to change the patterns of my behavior in a future relationship. Since the breakup I’ve felt incapable of sustaining a relationship, but perhaps that’s not true after all.

    But most importantly, reading this article has lead me to think and reflect on all aspects of my life. Wrong turns have definitely been taken and the insight and reflection is illuminating other paths that are just waiting to be explored. Thank you for providing me with the platform, Anthony.

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